WTF do you mean you’re a vampire?

CapGoF says

A question popped up on my radar about two weeks back: “Are you really serious about Vampires?”

My first reaction was to type back and say, “Take a look around dumbass, I have Vampyre friends, I run a Vampire E-Zine, I interview Vampires, my bios – EVERYWHERE – relate my own life experiences as a modern living Vampire. H-E-L-L-OHHHH, what’s the fuckin’ weather like on your planet? Then I stepped back and read the question again and I thought about the VC, the “community”, the Culture.

There are so many people jammed in here now who still have no bloody idea, no clue, no original thought or concept of what it means to live as a ‘human Vampire’, they have no idea what a Vampire even is but they run around like some badass mutha with a damn chaingun just sprayin’ shit everywhere.

Pretenders, Poseurs, Wannabes and fucksticks who think it’s a hoot to slap a pair of theatrical fangs in two or three times a year and act all mysterious and stealthy for fucksakes.

When are they going to get the hint and fuck off?

Genuine questions about genuine Vampire life experiences are one thing, dumbass questions about whose political corner you’re in, what side are you on, where your loyalties lie, why do you have so-and-so on your friends list… that’s not about Vampires, that’s about your own insecurities and your insignificance in the grand Vampyre scheme of things so don’t come bothering me with them. I, frankly, don’t give a flying feathered fuck what your politics are, either mundane or Vamp, I, personally, don’t give a toss who you have on your friends list on FuckBook. I can block anyone’s ass as quick as look at them…and when I come across some pathetic, whiny, blustering dick (or dickette ) you better bet your last sorry ass buck I will eliminate them from my cyberworld and I sure as shit won’t lose any sleep over it. Let’s face it, in some seventeen odd years in the online VC my personal shitlist has grown from seventeen to fifty three. And of the last thirty-six names added only one name is a “mundane” real world, not online, person. Go figure!!!

So, before you come at me with your cape swirling and your carefully crafted toothy grin remember, YOU have NO cred with me. Don’t be tellin’ me you’re some badass “Queen of The Damned” or “Prince of the Night”, don’t be tellin’ me you’re some ancient blood-line Vampyre family that dates back to the fuckin’ Babylonian fuckin’ Empire… TRUTH… you’re a fuckstick looking for a hole to crawl into. Go play your stupid games someplace else, or watch Buffy re-runs, or some fuckin’ thing.

There’s a whole world of REAL Vampires out here, doin’ it tough, every day, just getting’ by like every other mutha. Battling to pay the mortgage, the rent, the bills, find the money for gas, insurance and groceries. We’re not playing at being what we are, we are struggling with all of that PLUS how to keep “fed”, well and healthy on top of everything else so don’t come the, “Poor me, nobody understands me, I’m so lost and misunderstood, I’m such a lonely Vampire who just wants to be accepted into the community!” – REAL VAMPIRES DON’T PISS, MOAN AND WHINE ALL THE TIME – we do what we have to, with strength, courage and a measure of dignity just so we can survive this fucked up world.
‘Nuff said.

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Ageism, Youthism, Kitchens, Pots and Kettles…

Afternoon…
Captain grumpy ol’ fuck at your service…

So, you thought you heard it all yesterday? Well, hold on to your panty hose… that’s only part of it. I’d like to request, most respectfully of course, that the young people in the audience grab some popcorn and take a seat…

Right, with that out of the way let’s get to it…

I’ve seen blog posts by and engaged in conversations with senior people in the vampire culture who are vehemently against the perceived lack of respect shown by a great many younger members of our culture. Not all of the “old guard”, of course, not even most, but enough that it’s gotten my attention.

Many of the “old guard” want to have the Vampire culture/community – whatever you want to call it, commanded and operating in a particular way… well… news for y’all – the kitchen has been continually in a chaotic tumble since day one, cast your mind back to the writings of Lady Amy K in the 90’s and beyond, the so called “Psi-Sang wars”, look at the widening rift between the Sanguinarians and the rest of the culture today. Let’s cut to the chase my friends… and I know full well that much of what I am about to put on our table is not going to be what you want to hear, you’re going to take it, run with it, share it and watch as I get ripped to pieces by the veterans – so be it –care factor zero, truth hurts…right but as I mentioned to a friend the other day, it don’t matter who’s telling it, THE truth is still THE truth…!!! You ready? Very well… I realise, fully, that some of you are of the opinion that youngsters in the culture don’t know crap, that they don’t respect enough, that they are ill-mannered, bad tempered, petulant little children who should be railed against and demeaned until they stfu and go away – THAT’S BULLYING – out and out, pure as the driven snow BULLY TACTICS and you can’t dress it up any other way. Can you sit there and tell us you condone bullying? No? Then why do it? We, out here, can only guess.

You are intelligent, yes, you have been doing this a long time, yes, you have a great depth of knowledge and deep ties to the modern Vampire culture and communities but does that make you perfect? I’m not perfect, far from it but the one thing I can do is I can see that there are two sides to every story and that each side has merits – that is unless one side is a complete set of retarded clowns who haven’t got two single digit I.Q.’s to rub together. In many instances we olds do not always direct and employ our natural intelligence, knowledge, wisdom and intuition properly unless it serves to bolster our own ego and sense of importance in the pecking order, that is why we will not succeed in destroying nor stemming the flow of new and young ideas that are encroaching on what we believe to be our own “sacred space”. Whatever it is we are now aiming for it is going to be, in the end analysis, an amalgam of our history and young ideas.

If we fail to realise the bigger picture, to give heed to what we are railing against, we will end up tearing big holes in the community and we will end up losing the trust and respect that we do currently have with younger Vamps within our organisations. Our “protégés” NEED our trust and respect, that way they grow, bloom and become the best they can be to take over after we are dead. They, in their turn, will draw more young talent into the circle and so the Vampire culture will become stronger and longer lasting – if not we are gonna go the same way as the Ancient Roman Empire… and we will all be Nero’s, fiddling while Rome burns. The Vampire Community is based, and built on, decades of effort and work by a number of individuals who are highly respected, looked up to and are trusted… the “old guard” BUT following them are the “new guard” their protégé’s, their students. We OWE it to them not to trash young people wholesale, they put their trust and faith in us – well, he who calls the tune must eventually pay the piper, capiche? It’s a history that won’t be denied.

 

Yes, this is the “sandpit” of the VC, yes, it’s been that way since everything first got started… politics, arguments, rhetorical mass postings, disturbing discussions, trends and actions, questionable conduct, even borderline criminal conduct and those are the people calling pots black, on the other side of this tumult we’ve got the people banging on their kettles with metal utensils trying their best to make the most noise in the vain hope that everyone will suddenly recognise them, and them alone, as being the be-all-end-all of all things Vampire.

Bottom line, it’s been chaos, why are we so afraid of letting new young chaos in?

I’m going to ask you something now, a little favour, indulge me or not, ‘sup to you… sit down, close your eyes, no, keep them open so you can read… what were you like at 15? 16? 17? 18? 19?

I’ll share something with y’all – I first learned about the pleasures of the opposite sex, in a big way, at 12, I was smoking at 13 (56 now and still dodging the bullet – so what?) at fourteen I was brawling in the high school yard for no better reason than someone looked at this Skinhead the wrong way, at fifteen I was bashing the bullies at high school for picking on my geek or ethnic mates, 16, I became aware of my true nature (the blood is the life right?) 17, drinking like a merchant marine man and dropping “party favours”. I held the local land speed record for car surfing a half mile stretch of highway past a local police station (making cash on the wagers against me) held the record, local, for the longest continuous train surf out of the central city station, 18 and in my apprenticeship (they couldn’t sack indentured apprentices in them days) me and me mates spent more time calling off sick because we were ‘gone surfing’ or stoned off our freaking faces… etc. etc. etc. I could go on but I won’t, I’m sure you get the picture – WE WERE ALL YOUNG ONCE, we were full of piss and vinegar and we owned the fucking world, remember? We didn’t owe anyone anything, not respect, not obedience and not loyalty.

I am not saying this to be mean, belittling or demeaning… I am simply telling it like it is. Remember what I said, it doesn’t matter who is doing the telling, the truth is still the truth… The VC, like all of society, exists because it has become its own entity, its own force and its own support.

 

While it is true that the foundations were laid down as early as 1966 there will always be, and always have been dissenting voices, even within our own “oldster” ranks, those voices will, however, keep finding exactly what they have found so far – people annoyed, slinging mud all around the place and getting themselves ignored. Trust me, I been playing this game right alongside of ya – not always simply on one side (because in the old D&D parlance I am a “chaotic good character) As for the folks in positions of power who are going to clamp down on this unruly youth element – Best of British to ya, remember the 60’s???

I am GRUMPY that so many of the “old guard” think that these youngsters are assholes simply for saying something they believe. Their language isn’t the same language we grew up with, their society (in RL) is a prick of a place, really, and in order to survive that you need to be a prick right back… Law of the Urban Jungle – So, amigos, older and more senior, therefore supposedly smarter and wiser, get off the dreamboat, If you want the respect, show a little IN GOOD FAITH in return, if you want these young folk to hear your voice, stop moaning about how the younger generation has no respect, start listening to their ideas with an OPEN MIND, you do remember how to do that don’t you? When you speak to them use a proper voice and forms of address and respect the fact that when you’ve gone the way of this fella [insert T-Rex picture] they’ll still be here.

YOUNG PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE TOO AND THEY DESERVE A LITTLE COURTESY AS A HUMAN BEING.

‘Nuff said..!!!

Epilogue:
There, I’ve had my say, probably pissed off a good number of people along the way, I’ll say it again, TRUTH HURTS.

This whole comedy started with one writer’s personal opinion of a trend that they saw. Doesn’t mean ALL others thought that way but it has, with all the pissy, moany, whiny crap going on become exactly the thing that the culture has always roundly decried – a circular argument of “who can outbitch the loudest bitch” that is of no value, no substance and serving NO PURPOSE.

“Old guard” – stop moaning like an old hooker at a religious convention.
“Young guard” – stop moaning like an old nun at a Vegas hooker’s convention

It demeans all who claim to have intelligence.

Ageism, Youthism, Sandpits, Buckets and Spades…

Good evening…
Many of you may know (love/hate – strike out whichever is not applicable) me as Tim, Editor in Chief of J. Reason’s Real Vampire Life E-Zine…
Many of you may know (love/hate – strike out whichever is not applicable) me as T. Bey-Sahjaza a member, and Elder, in Goddess Rosemary’s Temple-House Sahjaza

WELL I’M NOT HERE AS EITHER OF THOSE SO DON’T EVEN GO THERE…

I’m here as a grumpy old f**k with a bad attitude and a need to tell all about it… these are personal thoughts and are NOT associated with either of the two fine institutions I serve.

Right, with that out of the way let’s get to it…

I’ve seen blog posts by and engaged in conversations with young people in the vampire culture who are vehemently anti-“old guard” for want of a better term. Not all of the younger generation, of course, not even most, but enough that it’s gotten my attention.

Some of them want to have the Vampire culture/community – whatever you want to call it, handed over to… well… I guess to themselves and whoever they perceive to be the “rightful” young heirs of it all. News for them – nobody gets handed nothing on a silver platter, or for free, in life. Let’s cut to the chase my friends… and I know full well that much of what I am about to put on our table is not going to be what you want to hear, you ready? Very well… I realise, fully, that some of you are of chaotic spirit and that your motivations and reasons for what you do are yours, and yours alone, to know. We, out here, can only guess.

You are intelligent but you are not directing and employing that natural intelligence and intuition wisely, that is why you will not succeed in whatever it is you are aiming for. You fail to realise the bigger picture, to give heed to what you are railing against. The Vampire Community is based, and built on, decades of effort and work by a number of individuals who are highly respected, looked up to and are trusted… the “old guard” if you will, below them are the “new guard” their proteges, their students whom, in their turn, will raise and nurture their students and so on and so forth… it is a lineage that won’t be broken.

This is the “sandpit” of the VC, we hold all the red buckets and spades and we decide who gets the “red buckets and spades” to play with – how are you going to break that? Even if you bring your own “red bucket” it won’t be a real red bucket, it will be a fake because you haven’t earned it. The very best that you can hope for is to be able to take your own “blue buckets and spades” and create your own sandpit, quite apart from the “Red bucket and spade sandpit” – understand? I am not saying this to be mean, belittling or demeaning… I am simply telling it like it is. Remember what I said, it doesn’t matter who is doing the telling, the truth is still the truth… The VC, like all of society, exists because it has become its own entity, its own force and its own support.

The foundations were laid down as early as 1966 and that’s a damn long history to be trying to be tearing down. There will always be dissenting voices, such as yours, those voices will, however, be just that… lone voices and maybe they will have volume but in the end analysis all they will achieve is getting people annoyed and getting themselves ignored. Trust me, I know, been there – done that years ago. Good luck with whatever your agenda is… methinks you’ll need it…!!!”

I am GRUMPY that these youngsters think that they can come along out of virtually nowhere and demand to be handed their “due” – get of the dreamboat youngsters. If you want the respect, EARN it, if you want a voice speak RESPONSIBLY, if you wanna play in our sandpit with the real red buckets and spades ASK NICELY.

‘Nuff said..!!!